My baby got caught on the cervical lip, just like my first birth, but instead of my being flat on my back and drugged, the midwives had me get up and do the hula dance. My baby’s head dropped. I sat back down and they told my husband he could deliver the baby if he chose. He washed his hands and he was ready. I pushed for 27 minutes total and at 6:57pm, born in his membrane sac, out popped Lars Christopherson. Lars weighted in at a whooping nine pounds four ounces and 22 long. We were astonished!! It looked like I gave birth to a cub. Ben was a big part of his brother’s birth and their relationship to this day is very close.

As I look back on my journey; Being diagnosed with fibroids, trying to conceive and finally getting pregnant, plus the agony of my false blighted ovum diagnosis, I now see the core thread running through all the stories - I trusted my body to do things that even some doctors thought I couldn’t. I breast-fed both my children, Lars for a full year, which I later learned can really exacerbate fibroid tumors. Lars was a delightful baby and we nicknamed him our Angel Seed. We thought it appropriate given that I was told he was a blighted ovum.

I received my period around month ten and it was back with much more flow and velocity. I panicked and called my OB-GYN. He told me that it was normal and that it might take some time to settle down and get back into the rhythm. I continued to have horrible periods and each time I had my annual checkup the doctor would say You have fibroids and they are growing. We need to keep our eye on them. I had an ultrasound to confirm and then lived with it. My mood swings were un-real... Nightmares, more like it, and David and the children were greatly affected by these episodes. They would come on two weeks before my period and last nearly the whole month. I was out of control, tired and depressed. I found it hard to believe that my body was capable of doing this. The OB -GYN that delivered Ben told me If it is too unbearable you can just get a hysterectomy and then you won’t have to worry about anything anymore. I thought that was like yanking a tooth just because you have a toothache! No one in their right mind would have the tooth pulled and any good Dentist would do everything possible to save the tooth.

But this was no tooth... This was my female organ! With nowhere to turn for counsel about this; the biggest decision of my whole life, I felt so alone and angry. Worse, I felt disconnected from my body.

I wasn’t getting any real answers from any of my doctors. My solution was just to live with it and all those horrible conditions. Each month I would suffer migraine headaches. I would get nausea before my period. I would be so dizzy it was hard to live each day. I experienced acne like a teenager, and I was so bloated I looked three months pregnant. Everyone would ask, When is your baby due? I was in chronic PMS mode. My body was totally out of control, and I even experienced an ovarian cyst burst while on vacation. I was so sick my husband wanted to take me to the hospital, but I refused. After my last few experiences with Doctors and hospitals, I was afraid of what might happen. I really thought if I go, they might give me a hysterectomy.