At the ultrasound, a friendly nurse made small talk, told me about her three children, then stopped suddenly and said, Oh this is not good, Oh, you have a blighted ovum. She went on to tell me, in a matter-of-fact manner, that everything had formed inside me but the baby and that I needed to have therapeutic abortion. She said they called ahead and the hospital would be expecting me immediately. Again, I was in shock. I couldn’t believe my ears. I asked to speak to her superior and another Doctor came in and said What’s the problem? The nurse told you... You have no baby, so what is it that you need to know? I felt frustrated and angry.

I never went to the hospital to end the pregnancy... Instead, I trusted in my body. I got on my knees and prayed, and in that quiet moment, I thought ‘Maybe what they saw was really a fibroid and it was blocking a baby. They really couldn’t see’. Clinging to that hope, I called the midwives. They calmed me down and simply said, God gave you this baby as a gift. If you are meant to continue the pregnancy you will. If not, your body will naturally reject it. These were the best words and advice yet... I had wanted this baby so badly. Through the tear-stained haze of that day, I remember David taking me out to dinner for my 30th birthday and telling me If it doesn’t work out, we can try again. He felt that I was going to be fine, along with the baby. He helped me to I realize I just needed to trust my body and let it happen. I fell asleep with an overwhelming sense of peace knowing that I should just trust my body. Then, I did just that.

Three weeks after I’d been told about the blighted ovum, I went to see my OB-GYN. My after the examination he asked Colette, what is this blighted ovum about? You are a least 10-11 weeks pregnant by my internal exam. The ensuing ultrasound revealed my baby’s heart beating to me for the first time. The doctor looked at me and said A complete and viable fetus. Congratulations Those were absolutely the best words I had every heard. Then he said, Now Colette, you do have a large fibroid. I asked him how that would affect my pregnancy and he told me that the fibroid more than likely would grow along with the baby. I might have some bleeding now and again, but the fibroid problem will never go away on its own.

I didn’t want to think about that. I just wanted to have this baby. I was so happy that I’d listened to the midwife and not that nurse or doctor, but most of all, I am happy that I’d listened to my own body. I felt I had a profound awareness of my female anatomy and a huge respect for my own body.

As the pregnancy progressed, I had some more breakthrough bleeding but everything progressed normally... I gained ten pounds less with this pregnancy than the previous as my midwives were very strict about diet and exercise. I felt great and ready for the big day.

My home birth was like no other event in my life. On the morning of October 25, 1993, I experienced some labor that I thought could be false, so I went about my day. By 2:00 in the afternoon, my contractions were five minutes apart. My husband called the midwives, even though I was still denying that I was in real labor. Not to much later, the midwives called and wanted to talk to me on the phone, but I was in the middle of a contraction. I couldn’t talk. With nothing more said, they were on their way. They arrived at 4:00 pm confirmed that I was in full labor, 4.0 to 5.0 cm and 100% effaced. We made them some dinner and I was squatting around the house. They checked me again and I was 8.0 cm and within three minutes I went to 10cm. This birth was moving along too fast. The first one took forever and this one was flying. They were so loving and kind. I couldn’t believe the difference from my hospital experience. They gently put me in a birthing chair to push the baby out.